dukeandhulkfandomcom-20200214-history
Duke Nukem and Hulk Hogan's Fantastic Adventure 2
Duke Nukem and Hulk Hogan's Fantastic Adventure 2 is the second installment of the Duke Nukem and Hulk Hogan's Fantastic Adventure series. It was created shortly after the first due to massive popularity and demand. The Story One time, there was a guy named Duke Nukem. He was taking a nap on the couch after his last adventure, and decided to call up his good friend Hulk Hogan. So he got up off the couch to look for his cellular phone, and couldn't find it, so he picked up the couch with his mighty Duke Nukem strength, and threw it aside. He found the cell phone under it, but in the process he broke his pinky toe. Strong as he may be, breaking your pinky toe is painful. "OWW!!!!" he exclaimed "MY GOD DAMN PINKY TOE." so he picked up his cell phone and decided to call the hospital first. He needed a way to get to the hospital though, since he couldn't walk due to his broken pinky toe. So then he put his hands to his mouth and said "FLYING NIMBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!!!" and the Flying Nimbus arrived in a matter of seconds in front of his house. He then realized he was in a tight situation. He needed to get up on the Flying Nimbus, but he couldn't stand, or let alone jump onto the cloud! He thought long and hard, like a penis, about who to call to assist him, and then a golden fishing rod came out of the sky and hooked Duke and placed him onto the Flying Nimbus. Duke thanked the golden fishing rod. The golden fishing rod exploded. Then Duke took off to the hospital on the Flying Nimbus, and then he smelled something foul, he realized he was not the only passenger on the Flying Nimbus. So he turned around, and to his surprise was Soulja Boy Tell 'Em who said "Bitch I look like Goku. Super Saiyan Swagger. The anime swag. The anime swag," and this angered Duke Nukem, because he hates niggers, so he pushed Soulja Boy Tell 'Em off the Flying Nimbus. Soulja Boy Tell 'Em didn't die, though, he landed on a mysterious land called Kenzan Island. He was passed out for a few hours, but woke up rubbing his head that looked like Goku's head. He got up, and heard music coming from a cage in the distance, so he approached the cage, and to his nigger surpreez, because he is a nigger, he saw in the cage an undead skeleton playing a song called "Bone to be Wild." Soldier Boy Tell Them knows talent when he sees it, so he approached the skeleton, and said "Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo. You got some serious music-makin' skizzles. How would ya like to make sum music wit' me, mah brutha," and the skeleton named Brook the Skeleton accepted, figuring risking his life to meet a whale was kind of stupid, so Soulja Boy broke open the cage and the two left the island on an inflatable raft. Meanwhile, Duke made it to the hospital. Moments ago, he called up Hulk on his phone, and asked him to meet with him at the hospital. So Hulk Hogan rushed into the room with a bouquet. "ARE YOU OKAY, BROTHER?!" asked Hulk excitedly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," replied Duke. "...Are those for me?" Hulk looked at the bouquet in his hands. "THESE ARE FOR MY WIFE YOU ASSHOLE," and he ate the flowers. Duke was surprised that Hulk had a wife. So he decided to ask him about her. The first question he asked was "She stays in the kitchen, right?" And Hulk said "of course. My bitch knows her place." So magically, Duke completely recovered in an instant, and had to go pee. But Hulk had to pee too! So they both walked to the men's room. They both used stalls, because they didn't want fags looking at their monstrous dicks. They decided to kick everybody's asshole in the bathroom. This wasn't a smart idea as someone called the cops who quickly rushed to the scene, and they had to escape out the window, but they were on the 60th floor, and the only thing outside the window was a 10-inch wide ledge. So any little misstep could send them to their doom. But then, some sand niggers crashed an airplane into the hospital. Everyone in the building started screaming and yelling like in the boxoffice hit, Cloverfield. Hulk and Duke have both been through this type of thing before, so they jumped back into the building through the window, and ran to where the sand niggers were, and beat them to bloody pulps. The cops were grateful for this, and decided to forget about the whole bathroom-beat-up thing, and instead awarded Duke and Hulk with medals. They refused. Duke said "We appreciate the offer, but Lord Stell has already given us a YOU'RE WINNER! trophy." Hulk said "Yeah, those medals just won't cut it." The cops understood. So instead of going to gaol, Duke and Hulk started going back to Duke's house. And one of the sand niggers responsible for the hospital terrorist attacks, whose name was Aladdin, followed them discreetly on his magic carpet and he suddenly said "HALT!" and the two stopped. "Grrrr," Duke growled, "We let one get away." "Not just one!" said another voice, an old and gay sounding voice. They turned around, and saw a sand nigger named Gwonam. Gwonam pointed to Duke and Hulk. "These are the faces of evil," he told Aladdin. Aladdin nodded, and pulled out his blades, ready to attack. So Duke got out his guns, but Hulk knew just what to do. Hulk knew their weakness were pigs, because arabs are never allowed to eat pork products or their families would disown them and they'll never get into college and their god would hate them, so Hulk got out a pig and started wailing on the Arabs, and they started crying and flew away on their homosexual carpets like little pussies. Hulk then tied a bomb to the pig and it exploded, and bacon rained from the sky, and Duke and Hulk ate every piece as it fell, because bacon is delicious. So they made it back to Duke's house, but when they got there, the house was covered in shit. They wondered why, and then in the middle of the living room, they saw Lotso! But this time, he was in shit form, and he had glowing red eyes. Duke Nukem thought back to when he ate him and the bear-shaped turd came out of his bunghole. It all became very clear. Lotso escaped from wherever poop goes when it's flushed. "THERE AIN'T ONE KID EVER LOVED A TURD REALLY," said Lotso. Enraged, he took out his bazooka and started firing at Duke and Hulk. They quickly jumped out of the way to safety. "What the fuck are we going to do?" asked Hulk. Lotso seemed unstoppable. "IT WAS ME WHO SUMMONED THE SAND NIGGERS TO KILL Y'ALL IN THE HOSPITAL. IT'S ALL PART OF MAH EVIL PLAN!" So, then Lotso tapped his cane made out of stuck-together pieces of corn. A hole opened up under Duke and Hulk, with intense flames at the bottom. Duke and Hulk managed to grab the edge before they fell in. "NOOO, IT CAN'T END LIKE THIS," said Hulk. "Lotso, we're sorry! Please, help us up!" Lotso looked as if he might reconsider. But then said "WHERE'S YOUR BUBBLEGUM NOW, NUKEM?!" saluted, and walked off. "NO, NOOOO!!!" they both screamed. They were losing their grip. Things were looking grim for them. But then they heard a faint "Yo ho ho ho ho ho ho ho." They looked up, and saw Brook the Skeleton and Soulja Boy Tell 'Em! Brook was professionally trained in the art of a new form of martial arts called Soldier Telling from none other than Soulja Boy himself! Brook and Soulja Boy quickly grabbed them both up before they could fall into the pit, and they all shared hugs. "Thank you for saving us," said Duke. "I no longer hate niggers." "S'all good, bra. Soulja Boy don't hold a grudge yo," said Soulja Boy. So they all got big buckets of acid, caught up to Lotso, and doused him with acid. He was no more. "Glad that's over," said Duke. "But oh man. That bazooka he was firing totally fucked up my apartment. How am I gonna-- HEY." He noticed Soulja Boy's drastic change in appearance. "Bitch, you look like Goku. Let's find the Dragon Balls and wish my apartment back to its original state," suggested Duke. Soulja Boy agreed and knew where to find the Spheres of Z Dragon. They were located in Spencer's asshole, but since Spencer was the emperor of gayness, he refused to let anyone take the balls out of his ass. Duke, Hulk, Brook and Soulja Boy became stumped as to how they could get the Dragon Balls from Spencer, but then Brook looked to the side and noticed a football. "Yo ho ho. Look at this," he said, and threw the football. Spencer ran over to it and was so fascinated with it, that the four went inside his asshole and took the balls out, and he was none the wiser. So they went to an open field and put the balls together. "YO YO DRAGON. HEAR MY HOWL YO." said Soulja Boy. Shenlongpenis appeared. "I will grant you one wish. What the fuck will it be," he asked. Duke spoke up, "RETURN MY APARTMENT TO ITS ORIGINAL STATE!" "Your wish shall be granted," said Shenlongpenis, as his eyes glowed. And Duke's apartment was back to normal. Then the balls scattered. Finally, things were getting back to normal. So then, they returned to Duke's apartment to celebrate. They sat there and played Mario Kart Double Dash!!, laughed, played and had a good time together for hours. But like all good things, the day had to come to an end. Soulja Boy and Brook then shook hands with Duke and Hulk. "Yo ho ho, it has been a real yo ho ho pleasure!" said Brook. "Yo yo yo, same here yo. The anime swag yo." said Soulja Boy. "Yo ho ho, let's all meet up again real soon!" With their farewells exchanged, Soulja Boy and Brook left. But then, there in front of them, they saw Soulja Boy's uncool cousin from England... Country Defender Male Inform Them. CDM saw Brook's British-looking appearance. "My dear fellow... are you trying to replace me?" asked CDM. "WHAT WHAT, YO YO YO, DON'T BE SERIOUS YO," said Soulja Boy. "HE AIN'T BRITISH YO. HE GOT THE ANIME SWAG." said Soulja Boy. "And, my dear fellow, what happened to you? You look like that character from that newfangled Dragon Ball thing from Japan," said CDM. "BITCH I LOOK LIKE GOKU," said Soulja Boy. So, CDM became deeply offended, and punched Soulja Boy in the face. Duke, Hulk and Brook got extremely pissed at CDM trying to get one of their best friends killed, so they used the remaining acid they had from their buckets of acid to douse CDM with acid. He was no more. "Yo ho ho, sorry we had to do that to your cousin, yo ho ho," said Brook. "Yeah, me too," said Duke. "Me as well," said Hulk. "Nah man, it's cool man. I hated that asshole anyway yo," said Soulja Boy. So, Duke and Hulk exchanged yet another farewell with their good buddies. Soulj .]]a Boy and Brook walked off. Duke and Hulk turned around, and saw Lord Stell. They got down on their knees. "S-sir," they stuttered. "Good job, Duke Nukem and Hulk Hogan. Here. You deserve another YOU'RE WINNER! trophy. Your quest is once again, over for the time being," said Lord Stell. Duke and Hulk were amazed that they recieved another one. They looked up to thank him, but by that time he was gone. So, they went back to Duke's apartment with the trophy, plopped down on the couch and watched The Lion King. THE END......................... or is it...? Reception Once again, like the original, the second was a hit and sold over 3 million copies on its first day. And again, like the original, it was not well-received on Arm of Long Park forums. In fact, they have banned the story due to its "racial stereotyping," when in fact, the story was censored for its Arm of Long Park release, and there weren't any racial stereotypes. Just facts. The story has done well enough that a third has entered production. So far, over a million preorders have been placed and there are high hopes and anticipation.